Gastnutzer
3. März 2025
For less than £30, this place was a veritable palace! From the moment I arrived, I felt like royalty, if royalty were on a tight budget and had a penchant for free car parking, that is! The warm welcome from the staff was like a cozy blanket, and the coffee was strong enough to resurrect even the most sluggish of souls. And let’s not even get started on the biscuits, there were enough to fuel a two-hour scoffathon that could rival an Olympic eating contest! I half-expected a biscuit-eating medal ceremony to break out at any moment. My colleague and I were whisked away to our twin room, which was a veritable wonderland of amenities: two beds (perfect for our royal slumber), three windows (ideal for our occasional stargazing and yelling at seagulls), and a delightful array of four calling birds. Yes, the only thing missing was five golden rings, but we did have five mould rings… let’s just say they were more of a decorative feature than a health concern. And as an added bonus, a seagull was perched outside, unleashing a screech that would make a banshee proud. I’m convinced it was auditioning for a horror movie. The view from our window? Not quite the seaside panorama we’d dreamed of, but it did overlook the car park, which provided a sense of security that would make even Judge Dredd feel at home. We didn’t sleep much, but with the Mega City Hotel Locks on both the entrance and bedroom door, Harry Houdini himself would’ve struggled to get in or out; just as well, really, given the zombie dance club next door at the hotel! I’m still not sure if it was a themed party or just a regular Thursday night, but I’ve never seen people shuffle with such enthusiasm, if only they’d offered lessons! The local pubs and restaurants were superb and welcoming, particularly the Hole in the Wall, which had a charm that could make even a ghost feel at ease. We watched the Man City game on a super-sized TV that could probably double as a billboard. The atmosphere was electric, with cheers and groans echoing throughout the pub, and let me tell you, the biscuits there were also top-notch—though I’m pretty sure they were trying to compete with the sheer volume of the zombie dance party next door. In summary, this experience was a delightful blend of humor, hospitality, and the occasional existential dread of wondering if the zombies would come knocking after midnight. I’d rate it a solid 4 out of 5 for both entertainment and sheer absurdity!
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